verbage.

i'm sick of spiritual cliches. all i really want is a new dictionary for Christianity... and i think curse words should be allowed.

orangy tan things.

say what you will. this man single handedly changed the face of pop music for the 13 generations to come.

...not to mention he makes boy george look like the terminator.

for sale.

one thing about modern society that really frustrates me is the fact that exploitation is totally consistent. not only totally consistent, but also totally natural. it's kind of sick, really. our world has gotten great at taking a product, or a message, or a belief - and reducing it down to a topic of conversation that lasts about as long as the conversation itself.

a material object becomes gossip. a movement becomes a memory. branching from the mundane all of the sudden becomes total abandonment of "normal" standards. and it's all because we literally chat it up for long enough that the idea doesn't make sense anymore. it's a numbing thing that will soon become dead.

i recently grabbed an email from a non-profit dedicated to making the world aware of the atrocities that occur in Africa everyday. not something to be taken lightly, however, the email was composed of apparel. trendy sweatshirts with trendy designs. it's scary to think how many people will wear that sweatshirt and not contribute to the cause. because contributing to the cause will be taken over by too much talking and not enough doing.

i really wish i could exploit Jesus as much as i exploit having gone somewhere, or having met someone famous. but i hope to avoid exploiting Jesus to the point of nonsensical stagnancy. because he is, in fact, anything but that.

no. thank YOU, dr. doolittle.

to tell the truth, i really hate working for someone that's too nice. i would much rather someone tell me to get it done, than for another man to follow up that same phrase with "please." for all you gutter divers out there, leave the homo erotic entendre to the side.

i'm just much better under pressure. which is why, up until about a week ago, i really didn't appreciate my job.

i've been shooting lately for the most bizarre resume a company can get their hands on. so far, i'm pretty close to owning the blue ribbon. my latest acquisition is a vet's assistant at a little place called "Dr. Doolittle's Animal Care." I swear to you that this is my boss' real name. the irony kills me.

anyways. i didn't like my job. i didn't like what it entailed and i didn't like the people. so i told on them to God. expecting a much different outcome, things one-eightied and for the first time in a while i experience spiritual honesty (no, not the self-help book). i told Him i didn't like where I was at. I boiled in self pity and thought that since i'm such a contributor to society, i should be in atleast a high rise working for an oilman somewhere. as it turns out, my insides are rotting with pomp.

what happened next was great. i was finally leveled out with every other person on the planet. i experienced equality. it was blissful, you might say.

God showed me things. I began to appreciate, truly appreciate, the aroma of pizza and garlic bread at an Italian joint every time i would walk a (let's call them) patient. I had a meal that night in the same restaurant. I sat down with a large pizza and a beer and it was one of the best meals i've ever had. sincerely. I then began to revel at the fact that God creates people, not normal people, but beautiful human beings that can care so much about something other than themselves that they would work a blistering 12 hour shift for 6 days out of the week and still somehow come out on top, exposing that they actually love what they do.

God, keep showing me these beautiful things. may i never take for granted the simple delights you've provided us.

lobotomized.

it's typical, this whole church thing.

too typical for me. i think i would find more spirituality with my shirt off, stomping on a cafeteria table mid-lunch. atleast it would be original. way more original than the modern.

i watch sub-par music entertain smiling faces,

''how to save your domestic partnership'' campaigns overflowing gaudy pamphlets

and i just can't smell the beauty. i don't find Jesus, and i don't sense this revolution that He was.

it's almost like this incredibly deadening gameshow. just something to occupy thinking space.





...Bob Barker can do that to a man.

freddie mercury VS. the projects.

so here's the deal. black kids. projects... black kids in the projects.

the best things God could have possibly put on his green earth.

a black kid from the projects could single handedly out-look, out-play, out-smile your gucci buying, polo sporting, fake dencher wearing face any day of the week. why?

because they don't have much. and they really don't mind it. these kids would tinker with a basketball (no hoop, mind you) for every minute of every hour of every day if they could. every minute of every hour of every day that we would probably spend buying the next technological oddity, or perhaps worrying about what the front yard will think about our new kicks. i hate to be the bearer of bad news here, but really all these kids need is a little accompanyment.

just someone to hang out with.

i think i love kids so much because they really do have things figured out. they don't worry about much. and they're quick to love. so much like Jesus, i want to throw up. i mean... in a good way. i would like to imagine a world where we were all like black kids from the projects.



...i listened to queen's greatest hits while writing this blog.

egg rolls.

i was yelled at by an angry asian man for not getting his coffee in time today. he moaned and sighed as he wore the type of sunglasses that double as eye glasses. you know the ones i mean? very popular among the elderly and the culturally inhibited. to the common man, they may seem somewhat normal. but to me, the man just looked unbalanced.

since he realized that there was ample daylight in the coffee parlor, he promptly placed the tinted side away from his eye sockets, leaving just the optical advisor sucked to the same membrane. i couldn't help but let out a slight cackle at this, but i am human. it's almost like witnessing a man clothed in a clown outfit and having a flat tire, giving the finger to every oncomer that passes him. people will laugh... because it's funny.

BARISTA CODY - 1
ANGRY ASIAN - 0

john denver.

man.

it's a good day.

whether you know it or not, your body is interacting with the beautiful weather. things seem so much easier today than yesterday. buildings and cars and the business men that walk the street are taking on a totally different identity than they did when the gray clouds had the sun in handcuffs, forcing it to stay humble. but the sun, it broke out. it's one of those things that can't be held back for long. and now it's beaming like nothing ever slowed it down. and this is when it makes sense.

just stay where you are and stop a minute. just breathe, man. let the sun hit your skin, warm you up, then calm you down.

isn't this just how life was supposed to be?

baby snatcher.

i've reduced the ressurrection of Christ to easter eggs and chocolate bunnies.

sweet.

natural born thief.

it's kind of like when you bring home a report card with an "F" on it, or when you're caught stealing a superman figurine from wal-mart. you find no other way than to suck up to your parents. because you know that sucking up is a sure-fire way to keep your stock up in mom and dad's book. you may color mom a picture, or help dad with the truck - but it's never enough, is it?

what sucks about this whole thing is that it's like this with God. only deeper, and on a larger scale. we find ourselves screwing up, only to find redemption in the places where there is none. the next thing you know we have bible verses that we don't even know the meaning to posted on our myspace, and our ipod screams the current christian rock hit. and for some reason we find comfort in this because it's a guaranteed way to let everyone around you know that you're changed. yet, for some forsaken reason, we're still left feeling like the same cheat before we took the low road.

it's strange to me just how much of our faith lies in the opinions of other people.

the hippie theory.

i find some sort of joy when things get shaken up. surely not while the getting jossled, but after the quake, i couldn't be happier with life.

i only say this because i really feel like plans and the future and all the rest of the blah, blah "i'm sure about my career" blah part of life are severely overrated. why? because it's trivial. you have no idea what's going to happen tomorrow. sure, all of your friends know what's going to happen (mainly because you harp it straight into their ear each chance you get), but by no means does this change the shifts and breaks in everyday life.

but like i said, there's some kind of thrill that comes out of not having a clue about what's going to happen. and the even bigger thrill that makes its way into my head are when i find myself focusing on the things that are guaranteed. the fact that God is present. and that, when we feel like we are being crunched down by the weight of everything around us, He cares. Even when we turn our back, He still cares. that's what i love about God. He offers hope.

if you tell me there isn't hope there, i will call you retarded.

peace.